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You are a good parent if:
You are teaching your kid about money: how to earn it, save it, invest it and spend it wisely.
You read to your kid or with your kid and set a good example for them when it comes to being seen reading a book.
Your kid sometimes hates you for not letting them do all the things they want to do. That is proof you are doing something right!
You allow your child to fail and feel the pain and consequences of their decisions.
You don’t allow electronics at the dinner table; both theirs AND yours.
You feed your kid healthy meals and make sure they get enough exercise to be fit. And you set a good example by eating healthy and exercising yourself.
You know your kids close friends and know their parents. Remember; people become like those they associate with.
You limit the amount of time they spend in front of the television, playing video games, and playing on the computer.
You hug your kids even after they think they are too old for it.
You make it clear that your love is unconditional but your approval is based on their behavior.
You listen to them, their ideas, thoughts and opinions and then you do the right thing based on what is best for them whether they like it or not. Remember: Parenting is not a democracy, it is an absolute monarchy and you are in charge. Decisions regarding their welfare and what is right and wrong for them are not up for a vote.
You communicate what you expect, show them how to deliver it and then impose consequences when you don’t get it and a reward when you do.
Is this all it takes to be a good parent? No, these are not the only signs you are a good parent. It takes a lot more than this to be a good parent. This is a short list.
If you don’t do all of these, does that make you a bad parent? Only you can answer that one. Look at the results, both short term and long term and decide if you need to make some corrections in your parenting approach.
The goal of any parent should be independence. You should want your child to become completely independent of you and a fully functioning, responsible, productive adult. This list is a good checklist to know if you are on the right track; but there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still goes wrong. Doing these things will only stack the deck in your favor.
I know some of you will want to argue some of these points and want me to discuss them and defend them and many of you will try to prove me wrong and litter the comments section with “Yeah buts”. Don’t bother. These points are not up for argument. I’ve been there, done it, and can prove every single one of these points in my own life, with my own kids and with tons of affirmations from other parents. If you don’t agree with these, that is fine with me, you have every right to be wrong. I say many things that can be argued with, but not this stuff.
For more of my parenting advice, so you raise a responsible, productive adult, read my best-selling book “Your Kids Are Your Own Fault.” You can get a signed copy on my website at www.larrywinget.com
Click here http://www.briantracy.com/NoExcuse for my FREE EBOOK: “No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline”
Watch this video to learn about the 5 common myths about setting goals. Learn why it’s important to set a goal and how to set the rights goals for yourself.
First; a rant. I just made a statement. It is a statement that applies to nearly every person on the planet, so don’t start with me about how some people don’t have a choice. Don’t tell me about the people who are born with handicaps or who are born into poverty. Don’t tell me about something specific you are facing and that you have no choice in the matter. I get it. And by the way, people who are born into poverty and with handicaps often choose their way to success, happiness and prosperity. So don’t give me any of your stupid “But Larry . . .” arguments. I am tired of people coming up with all of the exceptions to everything I post. Of course there are exceptions. Very few things come without an exception of some kind. I can’t write a blog or a facebook posting that deals with every individual’s personal issues. I can’t write a blog that applies to 99% of the people while catering to you, the 1%. I don’t care that you were a middle child born in North Dakota of parents named Lester and Josephine who made exactly $42,936 a year and had an older sister with red hair, a buck-toothed little brother with Tourette’s and a pet rabbit named Floppy and because of all of that, you don’t have a choice; you can’t be healthy or skinny or successful. Yet that seems to be what some of you expect. Seriously folks, you should read my mail. So get over it before you even start. (Whew! I feel better. Now on to making my point.)
Everything is a choice. Health is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Prosperity is a choice. Integrity, honesty, honor, work ethic . . . all choices. Put enough good choices together and you end up with a pretty good life. String enough bad choices together and you’re screwed.
Success is also a choice. Just like being fit, happy and financially secure are all choices. But none of these things are one single choice. Instead they are made up of millions of tiny choices. For instance; eating one 5,000 calorie meal won’t make you fat. But eat a few hundred calories more than you burn every day for a period of years and you end up a tubby. Buying one pair of shoes that you can’t afford won’t make you poor; it might leave you broke until payday, but it won’t make you poor. But spend just a couple of dollars more than you really have to spend every day on a pack of gum or a soda or the like and before you realize it, you’re deep in debt with no way out.
One evening of mindless television doesn’t hurt you but if you do it night after night, your future could be ruined. Being late to work one time probably won’t cost you your job, but do it too often and you will end up unemployed. Don’t say “thank you” once and the next time it becomes easier and soon you will be perceived as ungrateful. Let serving one customer slide through the cracks and tell yourself “Oh well, it’s only one.” and soon you won’t have enough customers to stay in business. In every situation, success at anything comes down to little bitty choices. Choices that are so seemingly insignificant that we cant believe they would have any long term devastating impact, but they do.
Everything ultimately matters. Every little choice you make or don’t make either moves you closer to your goals or farther away from your goals. No choice is ever neutral.
The choices you have made up until now determine the level of successful you are experiencing right now. That’s just how life works: you live the consequences of your choices.
What direction are your choices taking you?
Keep things in perspective. Remember that sometimes you are a jerk too!
You can’t change the way other people are; you can only change the way you respond to them. So why drive yourself crazy trying to fix a jerk that doesn’t want to be fixed or doesn’t know they need to be fixed? You aren’t going to be able to any way so save yourself the frustration!
Know that it’s rarely personal. Jerks don’t single you out to be a jerk to, it’s just who they are and has little to do with anyone else.
Forgive them. Most of them have had years of training at being a jerk and it’s hard for them to be anything else.
Be more understanding. Good people can have bad days.
Don’t give a jerk the power to ruin your day – they’re jerks, remember? Don’t reduce yourself to their level.
Be nice to them. Jerks hate that! Seriously, if you want to drive a jerk totally crazy, try being nice. Bonus: you might just shock them into better behavior.
Know that most people aren’t really jerks; they just act in jerky ways. Deep down, I think most people are good folks but work really hard covering it up.
If you have had it with them and are unwilling to put up their jerky ways, avoid the jerk as best you can. Divorce them, stop seeing them, stop calling them or going out with them. I’m amazed at people who willingly hang around jerks not realizing that it’s a choice.
If you are going to attack, attack the behavior, not the person.
This excerpt is from my New York Times bestseller, People Are Idiots And I Can Prove It. In paperback, it’s called The Idiot Factor. To order your hardback, autographed copy go to www.larrywinget.com.
1. Decide to change. Most people say they want to change without making the real decision to change. A true decision is based in commitment. You have given your word to yourself. It’s a decision that says regardless of what you run up against, you are going to change. It’s a deal you have struck with yourself and there is no going back!
2. Know WHY you want to change. Too many people get caught up in HOW they are going to change. That comes later. There are lots of ways to change. How is the easy part. Why is much tougher. Let’s say you have decided to lose weight. Good for you. Why? To be healthier? To live longer? All great answers. Go deeper. Why do you want to be healthier? Why is it important to live longer? I did this exercise with a woman who after asking WHY several times, it came out that she just wanted to look good in a swimsuit this summer so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. Embarrassment was the answer. This is just an example, but you get it. Dig deep for the WHY you want to change.
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes to change. It’s a rule: Life doesn’t always ask you to DO whatever it takes, but you had better be WILLING to do whatever it takes. If you aren’t willing, save yourself the time and don’t even start the process as you will end up quitting soon anyway.
4. Do whatever it takes to change. Yeah, this is the work part. No change is going to happen without work and action. There’s no way around it so roll up your sleeves, get off your butt and do the work.
5. When you fail, dust yourself off and start again. You will fail. Success is about moving past failure. Don’t cry, don’t whine, don’t get stuck. Just play through the pain and keep going no matter what. No excuses are acceptable.
Short list but big work. Get started right now on the changes you want to create in your life. By the way, when you get to where you want to be, celebrate. That’s the pay off. Celebrate your victory, set a new target and get back to work.
This is based on a section from my New York Times bestseller, People Are Idiots And I Can Prove It (The Idiot Factor in paperback). To get your autographed copy, go to www.larrywinget.com.
We have become a society of spectators. It is easier to watch old reruns of Friends on television than it is to make the effort to be a friend in real life. It’s easier to watch people lose weight on The Biggest Loser than it is to put down the bowl of ice cream, get off your butt, do a little exercise and lose it yourself. It’s certainly easier to watch people paint a room or clean out their closets on television than it is to do any of these things yourself. In fact, whole networks are dedicated to just that kind of programming so you can watch rather than do. It’s even easier to watch a TV nanny correct some other bad parent’s out-of-control children than it is to discipline your own kids.
Most people settle for much less than they have to because they are just too lazy to work for what they really want. They do a half-assed job when they are on the job, and then put little effort into living their dreams when they go home. That’s the dark hole of mediocrity most people have slipped into.
Life, happiness, prosperity, and success all take effort. Good things are never going to come along, grab you by the scruff of the neck and pull you up off the couch to get you on the road to success. You have to do that all by yourself. You have to stop watching the world go by and begin to participate in the action that creates a successful life. Is it work? Of course it is. Is it going to be hard? Yep. In fact, if it feels easy, then you are going in the wrong direction. The good life comes with work, sweat, tears and plenty of disappointment. But the good life is more than worth the effort. So stop watching the world go by and get involved.
Taking responsibility is the most critical step toward success that you will ever make in anything you undertake, either personally or professionally. The ability to take responsibility for everything you are, everything you do and everything you have is also the biggest challenge you will ever face in your life. Few people ever really master this step which is why so few people ever achieve greatness. Follow these six steps and watch your life change for the better!
Make a list of all the things that are keeping you from being successful in each area of your life: why you are broke, why you an unhappy, why you are unemployed, why your relationships suck . . . all of it. Whine, cry and get it all out there and written down. This is your chance! Don’t skip this step – make the lists!
Go to each one of these lists and write your own name at the top of each list. Why? Because you are the reason your life is the way it is. Nothing else you have written down matters. Your thoughts, your words and your actions created the life you are living. Stop making excuses and face that reality! There are people who face much bigger challenges than you do and they have still figured out how to be successful. So get your excuses and even your ‘legitimate reasons’ out of the way and face the facts: YOU are your problem. The reality is that we all have pretty much the same list we are working with. Some folks can take the list and get rich and some will take the list and go broke. Don’t blame the list; it’s not the list’s fault.
Go to the mirror, look yourself in the eye and have a little heart-to-heart with yourself. Say these words: “My thoughts, my words and my actions have created the life I am living. I take complete responsibility for everything going on in my life. I will stop blaming. I will stop making excuses. I am in charge of my life and I am taking control of my results from this moment on!”
Repeat this affirmation daily until it is ingrained in your psyche. Yes, daily. It works.
Remember this line: Affirmation without implementation is self-delusion. Saying the words alone isn’t enough. The affirmation is only a verbal reminder that you are responsible. Now you have to prove you are responsible by taking action to create the life you want instead of the life you are living.
Live by this rule:
Larry’s Number One Rule For Life and Business:
Do what you said you would do,when you said you would do it,the way you said you would do it.
This simple statement is rooted in personal responsibility. It should be at the very core of all your interaction with others. Every time you are tempted to slack off and do less or be less than you could, remind yourself that you are a person of integrity who lives by this simple creed.
This blog is based on an excerpt from my New York Times bestseller, People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It. To order your autographed copy go to www.larrywinget.com.
Click here http://www.briantracy.com/noexcuse for a FREE chapter of my book No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline.